Just finished reading a couple of books by Joshua Harris named “I Kissed Dating Goodbye” and the followup “Boy Meets Girl”. In these books Joshua relates a lot of his own life and those of others he has known or been in contact with during his life. He is a Christian author though not catholic but has very good points that can be carried over to anyone that believes in God.
To the sum up the books it is being said that a person should not think of dating a member of the opposite sex as that usually has too casual an attitude and often leads to the physical all to quickly. One should not approach a member of the opposite sex for a close relationship unless they have reached a level of maturity that they are ready for the possibility of marriage. Where this used to be more described as courting when a young gentleman would call upon a lady with the final result of their courting would be marriage thus adding a much more seriousness for it is no casual thing to involve anyone else’s emotions to a point of intimacy(and I do not mean sex by the use of the word but emotional) and not be serious.
He is not saying you should avoid members of the opposite sex if you are not interested in marrying them but to form good healthy friendships and respect them as if they were your sister or brother. Don’t put yourself in situations where it could lead to temptations that should not be acted upon. Interact with them in groups of friends and around their families to really get to know them first.
Though these books are written with the younger adult in mind they do have many good points that can certainly be adapted to older adults who have found that an emptiness to the type of dating that society pushes and overloads us with in books, magazines, movies, and TV.
Though our author chose to not even kiss till his wedding he does state that the choices and rules he made for himself would not necersarly apply to everyone and that these decisions must be made by each individual.
I plan to try and post on some of the better points of his books.
We definitely need to show more respect in our thoughts and actions to the opposite sex. All to often they are viewed from strictly a sexual point of view and I have heard men and women both do this all to often. These people are not objects but someone’s daughter or son, brother or sister. This fact can not be overlooked and we must think of other people as our brothers and sisters in humanity even if you are not a religious person.